A Heartfelt Soliloquy About Why Farts Are Like Excuses
Hello! So to get you into the right mindset, please:
- Place your mouth firmly over the inside of your bent elbow
- Repeat step 2 as desired.
Now imagine you’ve actually farted in a public setting and no one has caught on yet. To throw the people around you “off the scent”, as it were, you say something like: “Ew – what’s that smell?” Immediately you are blamed, ridiculed, and then depending on the severity of the scent you get recommended to see a doctor because there is something wrong internally.
Excuses are exactly the same. (Except for the doctor part.) Everyone does it, no one believes you when you say it, and the only way to not be held responsible for it is to not say anything at all.
I’ve been farting so much since May. Figuratively and literally. (TMI?)
“Oh, yeah, I’ll work on the blog today” (Repeat Step 2 from above)
“Sure, I go run tod – (Step 2 again)
“But no really I will - ::ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffTTT::
You get the idea.
After years of kidding myself, I’ve gotten pretty good at creating excuses. So to combat my terrible, gassy behavior, I’ve decided to fight fire with fire, so to speak. This blog will now become a continuing experiment of public excuses, or to put it in different terms, a series of public, but personal dares.
I have a list of things that I’ve been “always meaning” to do, and this challenge will send the kick of encouragement through the power of not wanting to look bad.
I want to live a creative lifestyle: always making, always exploring.
Always chasing. (See where I get the name of the blog from? I’ll come up with an explanation for why “sandcastles” another time.)
By the time I turn 30, in a little less than a year, I’ll have a solid idea of where to steer to in the future and will have placed my hand in enough cookie jars that I’ll know what cookies I like… and creative outlets I prefer. ;)
This is for those who need a little inspiration or encouragement to finally do that thing they’ve wanted to do. Try something different or out of your comfort zone. Each month or so is a just one more “thing to try out”, and I hope you follow along.
The first item on the list, for the next four weeks: reconnecting with those that mean the most. I’ve lived abroad for about 5 years now, and as the years pass, it becomes less of a priority to stay in touch with friends back home and those who I’ve connected with while I’ve been traveling. I don’t like that. So I’m turning my ah, blasts of….um, air into little notes, letters, gifts, and crafts that I’ll send to awesome people that I greatly miss. I’ll share what and how I make so you can follow along if you want and try to guess if any of this awesome stuff is heading to your mailbox.
You’re welcome, friends.
Excuses becoming gas. Gas becoming gifts. Boys becoming men. Men becoming wolves. Werewolf bar mitzvah. Spooky scary.
Alright, farting in a semi-serious context that isn’t medical related. Whoo! 29! #gassyisclassy